The international Asians here are mostly kept to themselves and cut off from others.
So, on our table, we have basically four Asian members, and our other members are Caucasian. I am a bit different from the rest of them, because I am international student from Asia whose English ability is not the best. I am very capable of understanding the book by myself, but when it comes to exchanging intellectual concepts, it’s very difficult for me.
I try my best to communicate with my peers, but I believe that I came to be seen as somewhat selfish, or not willing to share my knowledge and understanding with others, although I really want to. And I have become very conscious of actively contributing to the discussion more.
But, I believe that other peers, especially in particular two Asian peers, are somewhat mocking me about how I can sound very broken. I don’t want to talk about them. They use condescending tones to me, and their attitude towards me just makes the experience very uncomfortable.
I feel like an outsider, because I just came here three years ago. I guess it’s not exactly in line with other stories here about racial identity, but as international student, I also share the feeling of being isolated and discriminated against. And, I don’t know, I just really wish there is a way I can collaborate other people about it.
The international Asians here are mostly kept to themselves and cut off from others. And they were reluctant to ask any questions, and when they do, the other Asian students start not trying to be helpful. Not all Asian students, but there are two-two or three of them who have shown up, and they would say the result of a problem very quickly without explaining how they actually solved it. Usually, they don’t leave any time for those who are behind to actually catch up to what they were trying to say.
This kind of group mentality and separation also makes me wonder if America is the place I want to be to continue my life, especially these days. I am very lonely.